Gossip Girl: Is Lil'J Secretly Gossip Girl?

What a relief! Seeing Chuck throw out those little glimmers of Reform last week was disturbing, to say the least. If Chuck is going to Reform, he should not do so until at least around the end of season five, coast through six Doing Good, then have a Relapse at the beginning of season seven, not to Re-Reform again until the Series Finale at the end of season eight.

Poor Dan! Even when he sets out to do Evil, he does Good. His lame attempt at revenge consisted of giving Blair sounder advice than he had given her when he intended to help her!

I was thoroughly annoyed with Dan last night. After all the drama that ensued as a result of Serena's failure last season to sit Dan down and tell him The Whole Story, you would think that if either of them had learned anything, it would be Dan, right?

But Nooooo. Instead of sitting Serena down and telling her The Whole Story of Blair's anti-Vanessa operation, he tells her nothing about it, and then too little too late, and [i]then[/i] proceeds to not even tell her what his "sabotage" actually consisted of!

Instead, it is Serena the Troubled who points out that if they are going to have any kind of relationship at all, even a platonic one, communication will be a necessary requisite.

To which Dan the Clueless responds by failing to tell Serena that he is still in love with her, and does not wish her to date the artist she went to kid camp with, and probably imagines himself as Dan the Noble as he watches her walk away to pursue her budding interest in the Artist, even though we all know that she is still secretly in love with Dan the Impenetrable Skull Owner.

Nate's character is one of the most random elements of the show. There are people who don't like Vanessa, there are people who don't like Lil'J, but for me, if they were going to kill off a character, Nate the Bland would be my choice. Other than an essentially thrown-away swipe at illustrating the concept of Reversal of Fortune, the sole function of Nate the Odorless has been to serve as an alternative past or potential love interest for every female in the cast, with the two exceptions mzjones cites, and it would not astonish me should he hook up with one or both of them, just as utilitarianly as he has with all the others.

At least, until last night, when we see Nate the Boring suddenly catapulted into what could be some actual role in significant plot development....

We all saw that coming, remember like the first episode where Lil'J was dressed up in Serena's dress wearing those eye-masks that only on TV disguise peoples' identity, and Nate kissed her, thinking she was Serena?

Who can say that they did not get a kick out of Nate the Defender of Innocence riding in on his white horse to save Lil'J the Pure from that terrible den of iniquity, where there she was doing the unthinkable - dancing in her bra! Oh the horror of it all!

And the delicious mixed message of this occurring on the very heels of Lil'J the Child Warrior, with all that Gumption and Pluck, saving her Art, and thus herself, all by herself, from the Evil Eleanor!

Could that be a Sign that what we really saw was just another flash in the pan for Nate the Un-Needed After All, as Lil'J is quite capable of guarding - or not - her Honor from people like Max the Sketchy who would sully her by photographing her dancing with a fashion model, both scandalously and coincidentally wearing coordinating bras and tights.

Whoever it was who described her new look as a "racoon with a mullet" nailed it.

I still secretly suspect that Dorota is secretly Blair's biological mom, and Lil'J is secretly Gossip Girl.