Dr 90210: Robert Rey Has His Cake and Bites It, Too

I don't think Robert realizes how good he's got it.

Hayley is willing to raise the kids and take care of the house all by herself, all he has to do is pay for it, and in return he gets the "wife and kids" that he feels he needs or ought to have, with none of the real responsibilities or sacrifices or impact on what he does with his time.

That is not to say that I think theirs is an ideal situation, or anything remotely related to my own ideas of marriage, family, etc but from everything that we have seen of them, and everything that they have told us of their relationship, from its inception, one thing, or value, or whatever you want to call it, that they share is that they both seem to have some basic concepts and values in common, Hayley wanted to be married to a wealthy doctor, and Robert felt that a wife and children were necessary accoutrement to the image, the lifestyle, or persona or whatever that he wanted to be.

So Hayley got her virtually limitless "ATM," and Robert got a wife with a particular look, he got children, so he gets to be a wealthy, in-demand plastic surgeon in the capital of the beauty-wealth-fame-glamor-boobs culture, he gets to "have" the tall, thin blonde wife, the children, the interesting exotic hobby, and even be a reality TV star, and now he even has his "own line of shapewear" that gives him even more camera time with his appearances on one of the Big Two shopping channels!

I do not pretend to understand their insistence on not having a nanny or a babysitter, I think Hayley has explained it saying that she does not want her kids raised by household staff like so many in their community are, and certainly any time that there are extended family members available to baby-sit, I don't think many people would argue that that is not preferable than having the job done by a professional service vendor, and at least from what we can see on the show, she has not really developed any close relationships, she doesn't seem to have a lot of friends that she spends time with, so it is more than understandable that she would welcome - even yearn for - human interaction with humans other than her kids, and living near her parents would unquestionably mean an improvement in her quality of life, if she could leave the kids with mom so easily maybe she would make friends.

Remember when she came back from Montreal she toyed with the idea of resuming her interest in acting, but apparently that was not something that Robert was comfortable with, since it would have required him to assume child-care duties for a few hours once or twice a week, so that was pretty much that.

From what they tell us, Robert leaves early in the morning and doesn't return until late at night, depending on how much time he spends on his martial arts hobby, which is how he prefers to spend his leisure time, and so for all practical purposes, Hayley is functioning as a single parent, and what single parent wouldn't rather have mom and dad right down the street?

I think we all strive to keep on the right side of that fine line, when engaging in the internationally popular passtime of thinking way too much about reality shows, between stating our opinions and "passing judgment" on them, and if in my endeavor to avoid the latter I have failed to be clear about the former, for the record, I have never been a big fan of Hayley. In fairness, when it comes to matters of such importance as reality show trainwrecks, I do tend to be something of a stickler for quality, and let's face it. Hayley is not and never will be a Mr Boston.

While there may be some avid Team Hayley viewers who truly believe that she may once have wanted him, in my increasingly dismally failing efforts to be sensitive to those whose interpretation of the "reality" in reality shows is much purer than my own, perhaps we can all agree that whatever her girlish illusions, if any, may have been, she has accepted, as it were, the "reality" of the situation, revised her desires accordingly, picked up her basket of lemons and here she is resolutely squeezing them into a big frosty pitcher.

Should Robert "have a say" in where they live?
I don't know whether or to what extent the cameras might have been a consideration in the way she chose to express it, if she wished to ensure that the scene had enough drama, on the one hand, or if she might have attempted to sound more tactful had she not been caught up in the moment and forgotten that they were there, but either way, she pretty much nailed it.

Viewers of previous seasons may remember a few episodes where Robert was going to try being a real part of the family, etc, and my assumption was that if that was done for the cameras, it was to help viewers understand just why that would not work.

Robert simply has more interest in other things, and some may even remember what I considered the low point of all things Rey: Robert spending "quality time" with his kids, every other word out of his mouth, it seemed, some little disparaging dig at their mother.**


Even if she did want him to "be around more" at one time, surely she now understands that
A) it ain't gonna happen, and
B) under the circumstances, and especially because there are kids involved, that is really a Good Thing (TM)

So if Hayley wants to move to Calabasas and live down the street from her parents, it is not because I agree philosophically with the Reys' arrangement, but a simple acknowledgement that these are the choices they made, this is the "reality" they have chosen that I am able to concur with Hayley's pragmaticism, shrug and declare in rare unison with her:
"Yeah Robert, just shut up and pay the bill!"

What are Robert's choices? California is a community property state, and they have two kids. It would cost him a lot more to divorce her than she will spend buying, even decorating, a house in Calabasas, and he would no longer technically "have" that wife and kids that he appears to consider necessary accessories for his persona, his "station in life."

He would be between a worse rock and a worse hard place - either pay for kids he no longer "has" living in his "home" - AND forfeit half his assets, or, since he is very wealthy, he could probably purchase sufficient lawyerage to get custody, which he would not want either.

In a divorce, Hayley would emerge the sure "winner," the only "weapon" Robert would have is that she has emotional issues and an eating disorder, and the only thing he could hope to get out of it would be custody, which he doesn't want, and might not get anyway, since the kids are so young, rightly or wrongly courts do favor mothers, her parents are right down the street and she would surely be getting "treatment" for all that by the time they got to that point.

So, to mercifully sum it all up, I am not a fan of either Rey, nor can I claim that the decisions and compromises and trade-offs they have made, the way they have chosen to live their lives, or at least the way they have chosen to present all that to the viewing public, would appeal to or agree with me, but then they might say the same thing about me!

As far as they (or any of their staff, representatives and service vendors of any kind) are concerned, I am just one more wacky viewer holding forth and opining based on footage that makes it out of the editing room, and as far as I am concerned, they are just a couple more reality show hamsters upon whom I opine, and that, at least, is exactly as it should be!

**And here we uncover one foetid side of the dual kernel of why I find the Reys among the creepiest and most viscerally repellent of all reality TV hamsters: No matter what issues they may have, illnesses and conditions that they choose not to treat, it is not the fault of the two children they chose to bring into the world. I remember expressing the hope on some blog or forum or other that they would not only get divorced, but no matter what they decided to do with their own selves, quickly while the children were still young enough to at least minimize the trauma, at least let the kids go to homes where they would have the benefit of a loving home, and parents who enjoy a loving, functional relationship.

The other side of that dual kernel is of course Robert's um, "bedside manner," with his patients, the politest way I can put it is to say that I find it distasteful, beyond the planet of inappropriate and well into the realm of creepy and viscerally repellent.

So much for this week's Armchair Rey Analysis, as always brought to you free of charge and worth every penny!