Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Dr 90210 is All About Love

Watch out Megan! If Lindsey ("living in a sea of breasts," says Rey) is not your biological little sister - well, every family has its secrets. Whatever Mami told you, Megan. Stick with that. But watch your back, because Lindsey is about to fit in.

Belynda wishes to augment her Brazilian butt, although not Brazilian, apparently her butt is, and she wants it augmented, so it will be a J-Lo butt. J-Lo is not actually Brazilian either, but apparently her butt is. But alas! She is too thin, and must gain ten pounds so that the narcissistic Dr Matlock, restorer of used va-jay-jays, will have enough fat to augment her Brazilian butt. Her boyfriend is stoked. He likes him some Brazilian butt! Thanks to Dr M, Belynda will become, at long last, marriage material.

Rey wails about his made-for-TV marriage problems. "My marriage is on the rocks again!"

Kimberley the yoga instructor has Runaway Bride eyes, but she is going to Dr. Linda Li for a hand rejuvenation. Poor Dr Li! She sticks out like a sore thumb on this show. In fact, Li's entire family clearly took a wrong turn somewhere. They so don't belong on this show, on any reality show. There has been a terrible mistake. The whole bunch of them are jarring misfits, nice, pleasant people who might be your neighbors or your cousins. Can someone please help them? I think all they wanted to do was tour Universal, maybe get a cell phone pic of Suri or something.

Back in 90210, Megan's little sister loves her new boobs so much she has put blue streaks in her hair. Now she can fit in with her friends. "Lindsey, your boobs look so goog!" they tell her.

Belynda's friends sit in a row on her bed and admire her new Brazilian J-Lo butt. She goes to a party and shakes her new augmented Brazilian butt for the guests. At last her boyfriend can propose!

Rey has deep trust issues. Left over from being abandoned by his kindasorta Brazilian parents. He says he needs a break. The break will consist of taking the skeletal Hayley and his children to Utah, to visit the missionaries who rescued him from middle-class squalor of a nice neighborhood in Sao Paolo. The rescue consisted, according to his account, of the missionaries accepting him as a gift bestowed by his kindasorta Brazilian biodaddy, evidently with little or no protests from biomamma. The missionary family means so much to him. He asks them for help with his abandonment issues. He has not visited them for 32 years. They are very cordial, and say they enjoyed having him in their home. Rey takes Hayley and the kids outside to play in the snow and learns that it is all about love.

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